Hi Lauren, good job addressing the notes. The staging is working much better now. The biggest notes I have are about the ending - directing the viewers' eyes and pacing your beats. The red-haired girl does some large, sharp moves after "run in packs" so my eye is drawn there and I usually miss the blond's reaction. Tone down her movement as much as you can. The blond reacts too quickly to the punch line. Give her at least 6 frames after "packs" to realize what has been said and form a judgement. I think her wide-eyed take is too cartoony for the scene, so see if you can find a subtler version of the same attitude.
Hi Lauren, good job addressing the notes. The staging is working much better now. The biggest notes I have are about the ending - directing the viewers' eyes and pacing your beats. The red-haired girl does some large, sharp moves after "run in packs" so my eye is drawn there and I usually miss the blond's reaction. Tone down her movement as much as you can. The blond reacts too quickly to the punch line. Give her at least 6 frames after "packs" to realize what has been said and form a judgement. I think her wide-eyed take is too cartoony for the scene, so see if you can find a subtler version of the same attitude.
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